FRIENDS quotes!

[smns22]

Rachel: Then the waiter spilled water down my back, and my boob popped out.
Phoebe: Oh, No
Rachel: It's ok. I have nice boobs.

Rachel: Guess what. Barry and Mindy are getting a divorce.
Joey: (looking at Ross) How dare you.
Monica: No. Barry and Mindy.
Joey: Oh, sorry, I hear "divorce" and I automatically go to Ross.

Monica: Oh my god. How cute is the new eye doctor?
Rachel: So cute I'm thinking about jamming this pen in my eye.

Ross is wearing a white suit]
Monica: I like it even better on you than on Colonel Sanders.
Ross: Look, I just came here to tell you guys something.
Rachel: Oh. Was it how you invented the cotton gin?

[smns22]

Ross walks in Monica and Rachels apartment in a white suit and bow tie:
Ross: Hey guess what?
Rachel: Got a job on a river boat.
Ross: I didn't wear this for a year because you didn't like it so...
Rachel: Oh so you are trying to prove a point? Now that we aren't together your free to look as stupid as you'd like.
Ross: Well, you like it Monica?
Monica: Oh, yeah. I like it better on you then I did on...Cournal Sanders.
Ross goes to leave.
Girls: Hey Ross, what did you have to tell us.
Rachel: Oh was it how you invented the cotton gin?

[jenrulz]

Chandler: Uh, wait, what bed did you say she was on?
Ross: Mine.
Chandler: I'm pretty sure I put her on my bed.
Ross: No, she was definately on my bed.
Chandler: Why would I kiss a girl and then put her on your bed?
Ross: Well, then who was on my bed?
Monica (horrified): Oh! Oh! Oh!
Ross (realizing): No! No! No!
Monica: Yes!
Ross: You were under the pile of coats?
Monica: I was the pile of coats! You were my midnight mystery kisser?
Ross: You were my first kiss with Rachel?
Monica: You were my first kiss ever?

[Bigmama]

This is not a quote:

Rachel: I’m just bummed about the way I left things with Ross. I shouldn’t have lied to him about having to work. He seemed so mad at me.
Phoebe: Eh, don’t be so hard on yourself. If someone I was still in love with was getting married --
Rachel: (interrupt) Still in love with?!
Phoebe: Yeah!
Rachel: I’m not in love with Ross!
Phoebe: Oh. No. No. Good! Yeah, me neither.
Rachel: Phoebe, I’m going to Ross’s wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, I’m still in love with him! I mean, hey, y’know, I like Ross as much as the next guy, y’know? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings don’t mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesn’t mean that-that I’m still in love with him. Y’know? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love him—Ohh! Oh my God! Oh my—why didn’t you tell me?!!

[smns22]

Phoebe: No. No. It's just I was umm, I was with Ross and Jill after you left and umm, I'm pretty sure I saw a little spark between them.

Rachel: What?!

Phoebe: Yeah I mean it's probably nothing, but I just wanted to warn you that there might be something there.

Rachel: With Ross and Jill?

Phoebe: Yeah!

Rachel: With Ross and my sister?

Phoebe: Yeah.

Rachel: With my sister Jill and my ex-boyfriend Ross?

Phoebe: Yeah.

Rachel: Oh there is no way.

Phoebe: Okay then.

Rachel: Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I don't really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isn't that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and they're gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I can't stop it! I can't -- I don't own Ross! Y'know? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I can't believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.

[smns22]

Monica: Y'know, it is so strange seeing Ross here this time of day, 'cause usually he's got the children's hospital.
Phoebe: Yeah. Not looking for dates.


Rachel: So it seemed that my prom date had stood me up, so Ross selflessly, offered to take me.
Elizabeth: What a nice story!
Paul: So Ross was in college and decided to jump at the chance to take a young girl to her high school prom.
Rachel: Wow! I definitely did not see that one backfiring! I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
Ross: Yeah, take your time.
(Rachel heads for the bathroom.)
Ross: (to Paul) Just-just so you know I was a freshman and she was a senior. So it wasn't as bad as-as...
Paul: Ross, look, I know I've been giving you a lot of jabs and it's partly because I'm very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well,
they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many,
(pause) many stories that Rachel has told me that, well (pause) you're not (pause) all bad.
Ross: Not all bad.
Paul: And anyhow, I'm sorry I was so harsh before, but you have to understand that I (pause) still look at Lizzie like
she's a twelve-year-old girl.
Ross: Yeah. You know what? I know what you mean; I do that too.
Paul: I beg your pardon?
Ross: No! No! Not -- I don't mean I-I see her as a twelve-year-old girl! I mean I-I have a son, who's umm six and I still think of
him as a baby.
Paul: You have a son?
Ross: Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent
terms as I'm sure you are with your wife! (Realizes) Oh, I'm sorry! (To Elizabeth) It's unbelievable!
Paul: Don't worry about it, I just didn't realize you were married. (Rachel returns and hears that.)
Rachel: Oh we were, but that was just a, I mean that was just a big drunken mistake.
Ross: You're back.
Paul: You two were married?!
Rachel: Oh! Whoops! I'm sorry, you were talking about Emily!
(Ross slams his head down on the table.)

[smns22]

JOEY IS THE SWEETEST
Phoebe: Plus, it totally ruined my schedule! I...I haven't done any of the things I wanted to do by the time I was 31!
Joey: Like what?
Phoebe: Like okay I-I-I, I haven't met any Portuguese people! I, I haven't had the perfect kiss! And I haven't been to sniper's school!
Monica: Phoebe, y'know why don't we just go upstairs and have some birthday cake?
Phoebe: No, I just feel like being by myself for a while. All right? I'll see you guys later. Thanks. (Gets up and exits.)
Rachel: Hey. (After she leaves.) Oh, poor Pheebs.
Joey: Hey, y'know what you guys? I think I'm gonna go walk her home. (Gets up and runs out.)
Monica: Oh man!
Chandler: What?
Monica: He's gonna eat the cake!
[Cut outside, Joey is catching up with Phoebe.]
Joey: Pheebs! Wait up! (She stops.) Listen uh, close your eyes. (She does so and Joey passionately kisses her.) Maybe that's one thing you can cross off your list.
Phoebe: Oh yeah.
(Joey starts to walk away, but stops.)
Joey: Oh, and plus I'm 1/16th Portuguese.
Phoebe: Oh! (Phoebe walks away smiling.)

[jenrox]

Monica: so you went to the hospital
Joey: yeah now i have to wear this stupid thing, i wouldn't have to wear it if Chandler hadn't told the doctor what happened!
Chandler: Sorry Jo i don't think the doctor would buy that it just fell out the socket